All of Steven Universe season 3 is dropping every weeknight for the next few weeks, a Stevenbomb the likes of which we’ve never seen before. The “Summer of Steven” started with a “Steven Floats”/“Drop Beat Dad" double header that eased us gently back into Steven Universe season 3, followed by the emotional sucker punch of all-musical episode, “Mr. Greg.” Next we met up with the Shorty Squad in “ Too Short to Ride ,” featuring Peridot, Amethyst and Steven at Beach City Fun Land.
Today’s episode, “The New Lars,” has a simple conceit: Steven spends the day in Lars’ body. Lars has always been a negative fellow, desperate for the approval of those around him, quick to jump to pessimism and derision in an attempt to be cool, achingly sensitive to social pressures and appearances. But few people in town really care for Lars, thanks to his attitude.
Steven meets Lars’ parents, a pair of perfectly normal, concerned people who sit Lars down to discuss his report card, a string of F’s relieved only by a single B. Whatever Lars is spending all his time doing, it doesn’t seem to be winning him either academic or social success. The Cool Kids -- Buck, Sour Cream and Kiki -- aren’t really pleased to see Lars, though their attitude changes when Steven-as-Lars starts being his authentic, endearing self.
“This isn’t the Lars we know. Maybe Lars is actually… a good guy who likes making people feel good,” says Buck with a smile. He invites Steven-as-Lars to a dance competition as part of his crew, an invitation that the real Lars would probably cut his own hand off to get. Steven-as-Lars rejects it, though, because he has something else in mind: easing the way between Sadie and Lars.
It turns out that the only person who really likes the real, true Lars, warts and all, is Sadie. But we’ve known this for ages, as we’ve known that their relationship is complicated. Sadie calls Lars “the human boomerang” for his there-and-gone-again attitude, accusing him of acting one way in private and another in public, stating that she knows he doesn’t want to be seen with her. None of these things seem to stop Sadie from liking him anyway and trying to cultivate at least a friendship with him. I ache for Sadie -- when a guy makes you feel like you’re not good enough, run the other way, girl!
Steven, to no one’s surprise, is a sucker for Lars and Sadie’s on-again off-again relationship and desperately wants them to resolve their differences so they can get married. Somewhere beneath Sadie’s anxiety and Lars’ bullshit, there’s real feeling there. So Steven-as-Lars hangs out with Sadie for the night, watching a horror movie and confessing feelings of love afterward. It turns out this approach doesn’t work on Sadie, who becomes hurt and offended. “You’re only my friend when it’s convenient for you!” she yells, kicking him out.
There’s a disturbing undercurrent to this: the lights are low after the movie, they’re hanging out on Sadie’s bed, and one of the few sloppy make-out sessions we’ve ever seen on Steven Universe are between Lars and Sadie. So is Lars only nice to Sadie to get his jollies off in private, disregarding any feelings she has as a result? It seems to be what Sadie’s implying and certainly what she’s sick of.
Steven finally admits that he’s actually Steven in Lars’ body and not the real Lars, to which Sadie responds with horror. They go to check on Steven’s body in the Temple, trailed through town by the Cool Kids and even Lars’ parents. Lars-as-Steven is fast asleep in bed. When Lars-as-Steven wakes up, Lars is launched back into his own body.
Lars, predictably, does not take the news of what has happened well, though when he starts screaming, the Cool Kids all move to stand protectively in front of Steven. “I was acting weird all day, and you all just liked it?!” Lars cries out before taking a deep breath, slicking his hair back and releasing a scream of frustration.
The next day, Steven goes to Lars to apologize. He even brings a card -- which Lars rips in half in front of him. Charming. Steven admits that he-as-Lars told Sadie he loved her, and Lars breathlessly asks how Sadie replied. “She thought you’d only say something like that to hurt her,” says Steven, which Lars at least admits is true. But Steven points out that “not everyone” liked him-as-Lars over the real Lars just as Sadie walks in.
Lars scrambles to Sadie and invites her to come over and bring a movie to watch, which makes Steven smile hopefully. End of episode.
This episode won’t go down in the history books as one of the faves, though Lars/Sadie shippers (you exist, right?) will have plenty to tide them over. Here’s some of the best bits sprinkled throughout “The New Lars”:
Steven holding Lars and Sadie hostage to his Koalas vs. Sloths slideshow. “Who should be crowned the king of the ‘Hanging Around, Doing Nothing’ mammals?”
The Big Donut closing “to get those gulls out of the vents.” Hope the critters are doing okay.
Sadie: “You’re staring a little.” Cut to Steven, eyes bugging out and face pressed up to the counter. Hah!
“Why can’t you just admit you love her?!” We have been asking this for three straight seasons, kiddo.
“I’d better do my best to respect Lars’ body and his privacy.” Steven, you are a Good.
What subject does Lars have a B in?
Steven: “I’m Lars!” Onion: (baffled thumbs up)
Lars’ dad to Lars’ mom, faced with the idea of their son the burglar: “Now, now, you know we’ve been ready for this day.” Ouch.
I’m not overly excited by the prospect of revisiting the citizens of Beach City one by one. There’s a few I’m happy to pass over, Lars being one. If we get another Ronaldo episode… well, I’ll make it through. Still, it would be great to finally get some kind of resolution to Lars’ terrible treatment of Sadie after seasons of watching him ignore and dismiss her. The only person on the show more in need of a redemption arc is Jasper, who literally punched Steven in the face. There’s no punching between Lars and Sadie, but especially after the episode that dealt with Sadie’s anxiety problems, one can’t help but wish Lars would wisen up already.
But if every porkchop were perfect…
The "In Too Deep" Steven Universe special event kicked off with “Watermelon Island” and “Gem Drill” back to back and ended with “Hit the Diamond.” Cartoon Network is delivering the "Summer of Steven" in the biggest Stevenbomb yet. Steven Universe will be airing new episodes every single weeknight for over a month, July 18 through Aug. 12, so make sure to check back with iDigitalTimes every weeknight after Steven Universe airs for recaps, analysis and news.
