Does the Transformers series have a shot at greatness without Michael Bay’s involvement? If we weren’t five movies deep I might say so. But as it stands, this upcoming Bumblebee spin off film needs to be the Citizen Kane of movies about alien cars that fight other alien cars to revive my waning interest in these juvenile beat-em-ups.
Peter Cullen recently confirmed his involvement in the project in an interview with CineMovie. Please note the dejected look on Cullen’s face as his geriatric co-star, Frank Welker, whips out his Megatron voice like a nursing home party trick. This has been making the rounds in various online publications as if the world at large has anything but contempt for the moralizing red and blue deusex machina on wheels-a view Cullen clearly shares as evidenced by his tepid “Yes” when asked if his voice will be heard in the Bumblebee movie. “Yes, I’ll be making sure that my shit grandkids don’t ship me off to a home next summer by voicing a god damn big rig for the 800th time, even though I’m well into my seventies.” Maybe I’m reading a lot into his response but in any case, Peter Mcshitpants won’t be enough to repudiate a decade of clumsy misogyny and jive talking robots all on his own.
Travis Knight just might though. You probably know Knight as the director of last year’s Koba and The Two Strings. A marvelous little stop motion feature that received universal acclaim and some modest love at the box office. In addition to directing that film, Travis Knight is the mastermind behind some of your annoying film major girlfriend’s favorites: Coraline (remember when she couldn’t shut up about Coraline? ) Paranorman , The Boxtrolls and Moongirl. Yeah, quirky animated romps with lots of humor and heart so a Transformers prequel is a no brainer.
I know what you’re thinking “Is Transformers going all cuck on us?” Fear not becuase to counterbalance the cuckiness of a thoughtful acclaimed filmmaker, Bumblebee will star renowned Zika survivor and special needs icon, John Cena. Oh hell yeah.
I don’t know that Transformers as a property is inherently bad, in fact I’ve been told the contrary by fans of some of the well received video games and cartoon series. Maybe the property could benefit from a change in hands, and Scott is clearly a talented guy, but this is going to be one hell of an uphill battle. I don’t care how well filmed, choreographed or staged; the prospect of another film set in the same universe as Transformers: The Last Knight , a film that revealed earth to be Unicron, a watch to have killed Hitler, and Mark Wahlberg to be a genius inventor makes me want to fuck my brain with a steak knife.
Are YOU excited about the Bumblebee stand alone film? Cool, us neither.
