The porgs of Star Wars: The Last Jedi are cute. The round black eyes, the plump and fluffy bodies, the diminutive size: they are cuuuuuute . Cuteness in Star Wars has been controversial ever since the Ewoks, but that doesn’t seem to daunt the visionaries behind Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Ever since the porgs were first spotted in this behind-the-scenes trailer, fans have interrogated their adorableness:
“[P]orgs are cute. You fall into those deep, soulful eyes. I think a lot of people are going to want a porg as a pet,” said Lucasfilm Story Group’s Pablo Hidalgo in a blog post introducing the new critters. And he’s right. The porg memes and porg merchandise spring eternal:
When your Porg sees your workload. #TakeYourPorgToWorkDay pic.twitter.com/gV9u5iv8se
— IMAX (@IMAX) December 13, 2017
Invite a few porgs over for dinner tonight. From @justjenn, it's a recipe for Porg Chops. https://t.co/Gw9SdtEdhn pic.twitter.com/lalYI9OiPx
— Star Wars (@starwars) December 13, 2017
RT & follow @Loungefly for the chance to win this Star Wars #Porg Coin Bag! #TakeYourPorgToWorkDay pic.twitter.com/Dn5lKZIrgo
— Loungefly (@Loungefly) December 13, 2017
RT & follow @OriginalFunko for the chance to win a pair of Porg Galactic Plushies! We're picking SIX winners! #porg pic.twitter.com/DRRa2XSYl7
— Funko (@OriginalFunko) December 7, 2017
The thing is, if you look at some of that merchandise: the porgs can look a little creepy-cute sometimes in their merchandise incarnations. And as we all know, merchandise (and the revenue it generates) moves the world. If your toddler is terrified of their cuddly porg companion’s unreal gawp and bulging eyes rather than entranced by its doe-eyed gaze and chirping little mouth, you’re not going to fork over the cash to buy porg-laden Star Wars: The Last Jedi merch, and that’s a problem.
But in a new trailer, Monster Hunter: World has shown off its adorable Palico companions. These guys don’t ever look creepy, because they’re basically just cats that are your pals (hence, Palicos), and that gives them the edge over these porg newcomers. Plus, the Palicos give porg a run for their money when it comes to sheer, freewheeling cute:
Giving Palicos even more of an edge over their porg competition, you can customize your own Palico in loving detail. We already have all the details on Palico character creation from TGS 2017:
Presets: 12 Felyne Palico presets are available to choose from.
Hair: Hair length, thickness, color (presets and color bar), brightness, and saturation can be configured.
Patterns: choose from a total of four options. Colors can also be adjusted for each part.
Eyes: choose from a total of six options. The colors of the left and right eyes can be individually adjusted.
Ears: choose from a total of five options.
Tail: choose from a total of four options.
Underskin: color (presets and color bar), brightness, and saturation can be adjusted.
Beginning Equipment: choose either “leather cat” or remain naked.
Voice: a voice can also be selected.
Maybe a Star Wars game will come out that lets us create our own porgs, but until then, Palicos take the trophy home in this competition. Cute feline critters whose sole goal is to help you and make your life better? Cats that can make friends with other wild creatures and even ride smaller monsters? I’m lovin’ it.
On the other hand, baby porgs are called porglets. That’s a pretty sizeable counter-argument.
Monster Hunter: World is scheduled for a global release on PlayStation 4 and Xbox One on Jan. 26, while Star Wars: The Last Jedi comes out Dec. 15 and with my luck, all of you who would normally be reading this are watching it now. So what do you think: porg or Palico? Or, well….
Feel free to share your thoughts on one of our nation’s most critical debates in our comments section below.
