I don’t understand why turning ordinary objects into Pokémon has become so popular with Gamefreak. I understand after over 700 different types of monsters, developers would start to get run out of ideas, but some of the new Pokémon they’ve created boggle my mind. So far, we’ve had garbage bags, ice cream cones, a chandelier, a washing machine, and those are some of the more acceptable ones.
I believe in the theory of Pokémon evolution, Pokémon evolved to live alongside human beings and work with them. I won’t listen to any of that Pokémon creationist garbage, Arceus might be god but he didn’t make Honedge into a sword.
I’m an old man who still thinks Generation three is the best (Groudon for life), but I understand where some of the newer generations have merit. The worlds have grown, the battles are more epic and some of the later generation Pokémon are amazing (I love you Ducklett). Still, with Pokémon Sun and Moon coming out in just a few months, I thought I’d take a look at some of the weirdest items some dude at Gamefreak thought would make great Pokémon.
4. Comfey
This whole article started after I took a look at some of the new Pokémon coming out in Sun and Moon . It’s a Hawaii laie, or that necklace made of flowers they hand out at Bar Mitzvahs or Sweet Sixteens so children have something non-alcoholic to play with.
I assume as a Pokémon, you would need camouflage to keep enemies at bay, either by looking dangerous or invisible. Being a necklace of flowers does neither of those, though I bet it does make you look even tastier to a Pidgey or a Swellow.
I still can’t decide if Comfey or that dumb haunted sandcastle is worse.
3. Drifloon
I’d say, that Pokémon Black and White were the games where Pokémon designed started to go off track. Drifloon is a balloon who enjoys getting caught in the breeze and go where life takes it. In my head, I still try to think of Pokémon as rational creatures that survived by adapting to their surroundings. Wouldn’t the whole Drifloon population just disappear if a bad windstorm threw a few hundred of them into some electrical wires or angry Pikachus?
I say the same thing about Hoppip, functioning like a plastic bag in the wind is no way to survive.
2. Kling, Klang and Klinklang
If I had to choose one evolutionary line of Pokémon to throw into an angry volcano and never see again, it would be these dumb gears. I appreciate when Pokémon’s camouflage serves a purpose – Foongus and Amoonguss are two of my favorite Pokémon that have applicable disguises. They have Pokeball markings so trainers pick them up and notice them. But nobody is ever going to notice a bunch of gears chilling somewhere, except maybe in a clock tower.
I wouldn’t hate them so much if they weren’t just previous forms glued together You don’t get to combine two previous Pokémon forms and call it a new monster. In generation one, we accepted Magneton and Dugtrio because we didn’t know any better. After six years, we kind of expect something a bit more creative.
1. Klefki
You ever just can’t find your keys and then have to go design some Pokémon? I can just see a game designer fuming with rage saying that he wishes his keys were just alive and could come to him, thus creating Klefki. I don’t even hate its design. It’s sleek like Chimecho, but still looks mysterious enough to be dangerous.
It’s just I can’t accept that a Pokémon species could thrive on just being keys. Chandelure can hide in mansions, Trubbish can hide in any metropolitan dump, but where can Klefki hang out and hide? It would need a person whose keys happened to look exactly like Klefki to confuse this living fairy as the thing that opens their car door. Either Pokémon are much smarter than trainers or Klefki has some major mind control powers.
