I love the hell out of Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. The timers on everything don’t bother me. The fertilizers, throw nets, honey and Leaf Tickets don’t bother me. Waiting days for something to finish crafting doesn’t bother me. There are valid systems critiques of Pocket Camp, but some part of me simply doesn’t care in the face of Goldie’s sparkle of approval.

Is this what Farmville fanatics felt back in the day? This glorious peace, this patient Zen, the warm glow of faux accomplishment as you stare at something you built with your not-quite-hands? Is this how mobile gaming whales are formed?

But I have yet to spend money on Animal Crossing Pocket Camp (aside from buying the 99-cent bundle of Leaf Tickets just to see what the process was like; turned out, it’s the kind of process that deducts money from your wallet). There’s just not quite enough content for me to want to do so. Here’s my top wishlist items for Animal Crossing Pocket Camp:

Less grungy stuff from Tom Nook’s boy at the Market Place

Every time I visit Market Place, one of Tom Nook’s benighted sons is trying to piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining. What’s that you have for sale, Timmy? Is that… a busted oil drum, a bundle of tires, and a gas canister? I’ll be back later.

Oh, what’s that you say, Timmy? Is that a gas canister, a pile of used dishes and a block (I’m sorry, “display stand”)? No problem, I’ll be back later.

Wow, Timmy, is that a lantern, a block in a different, equally unappealing color, and a metal tool rack? Revolutionary.

Maybe Timmy’s lack of interesting, pretty inventory is because Pocket Camp reserves most of the traditional furniture series, like lovely, polka-dot and kiddie, for the crafting section. Maybe it’s because Pocket Camp is not about homes, but camps, so a more grungy, outdoorsy aesthetic makes sense.

But one of the things that makes Animal Crossing so fun is picking an aesthetic and decorating within it. I understand the crafting system is monetized so the vast majority of furniture will be crafted, and I don’t mind that. But leave some cute stuff for the Market Place so I’m not disappointed every time I make the trek over to see what’s for sale.

More furniture and clothing options, especially ones unique to Pocket Camp

Is it just me, or is all of the furniture and clothing options just repeats from past Animal Crossing installments? Are there any new furniture or clothing options just for Pocket Camp? A new series of furniture to commemorate Nintendo’s new mobile game would be nice, at the minimum.

Recently, Animal Crossing Pocket Camp players on Android received a special gift in the form of rainbow tees and caps, which my gay ass really appreciated. I don’t think these clothing items are present in any other Animal Crossing game, which makes me feel rewarded for being level 38 (I have insomnia and wake up about every three hours, making me Pocket Camp’s perfect mark).

That’s what we need more of: cute, appealing, and new to Pocket Camp. Get the Able Sisters on the job, if only to stop them from offering me the same triptych of hair ribbon, star pin and tiny glasses they seem determined to foist on me. New fashion? Now that is a reason to boot up this game.

Way more fish, insect and fruit options

Each part of the map seems to have only a bare handful of insects regularly available. Take insects: I am tired, o Lord, tired of catching tiger butterflies. Tired of monarch butterflies. Tired of fruit beetles.

Sometimes you’ll catch a glorified roach, I mean uh, a horned dynastid. Sometimes you’ll catch an even rarer glorified roach, uh I mean, miyama stag. You might even get really lucky and nab an emperor butterfly or a jewel beetle. No villager ever asks for these or gives you extravagant rewards for them, though.

The console games have a huge library of critters showcased in the Museum, so why can’t we have more of those? Or even, gasp, some all-new fish or insect or fruits that have never appeared in the franchise before? Give me cantaloupes. Give me mangoes. Give me cocoa beans and fire ants, I don’t know, cuttlefish. Just give me a little more variety per rarity tier.

Stationery and letters

Collecting stationery and sending postcards to villagers is one of the most charming aspects of Animal Crossing . It’s also something that could really strengthen the social aspect of the game and provide another bell sink than simply expanding your camper, which not everyone bothers to do because it’s not easy to show off.

Nintendo is an all-ages company, of course, and there’s weirdos and creeps everywhere, so I don’t think players should be allowed to write their own notes. Instead, they could choose from some cute pre-written messages. Maybe acquiring stationery could be based in part on kudos, giving kudos an actual purpose in the game aside from something you do to say thank you to the person selling squid wholesale.

Let me sell more stuff in the Market Box

I should be able to sell extra clothes and furniture to impatient people who don’t want to wait for the Able Sisters to rotate through their stock or have the bells but not the Leaf Tickets to burn in furniture crafting. I don’t mind that Market Boxes are limited in number, but I do mind that I can’t put up a whole bunch of excess crafting materials for sale. Let me make the game easier for my friends.

More varied rewards from animals

Getting crafting materials and random essences from animals is not exciting, especially when the crafting materials and essences aren’t explained that well. (I love crafting games, so I found the system reasonably intuitive, but plenty of people don’t and didn’t. You’re valid.)

I loved getting gifts of furniture in New Leaf. It’d be a nice change for some of these lazy critters to give me something they’d like to see placed at the campsite instead of me laboring single-handedly to meet their unending demands. It’s always a great moment when you get a special gift from an animal whose rank you’ve leveled up, but why can’t they just give you random stools and cushions and other low-level items?

It’d be an endearing gesture with the kind of charm Animal Crossing is known for.

Let me convert one type of material into another

I’ll just say it: the crafting system, when you think about it, doesn’t make all that much actual sense . What is “cute essence”? What is “sporty essence”? What in the name of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a “sparkle stone”? What the hell is “friendship powder”? Why are plants craftable instead of just findable out in the wild? (Consider that another suggestion.)

If I’m courting cute villagers, I’m going to need a lot of cotton for the adorable fluffy furniture they favor. Let me convert all those useless steel girders into cotton by sprinkling cute essence on them. It makes about as much sense as anything else, helps alleviate the frustration of not having the materials on hand to craft an item, and is a more player-friendly alternative to using Leaf Tickets.

Yes: I understand the game is monetized, but I think Leaf Ticket purchasing opportunities are in abundance outside of the crafting system. Providing more player-friendly alternatives to them might go a long way towards easing the cynicism some players feel in Pocket Camp.

What do you think?

What other changes do you propose? What do you think of my list of suggestions? Feel free to let us know in the comments section below, and don’t forget to check out our other Animal Crossing Pocket Camp content:

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• Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp Animal Guide: Every Character & Items You Need To Attract Them