Netflix’s Iron Fist is a really bad television show. I had high hopes since Luke Cage was so enjoyable to watch from kickass start start to explosive finish, but Iron Fist let me down. The characters are all as bland as saltine crackers, the fight scenes are uninspired and filled with terrible CGI and I really hate Danny Rand.
I took notes while watching the first episode of Iron Fist and here are my findings. There are spoilers ahead, so if you want to watch this shitstorm of a Netflix original series without knowing anything, just jump to the end.
Danny Rand is played by a guy who looks like Jude Law without charisma, charm or likability.
Does the Outkast serve any purpose, other than to just take the viewers out of the story?
Nobody is going to stop this man from beating up security guards in the hallway, nah that’s cool.
Gordon Gecko, who looks like Justin Long after years on the sauce, owns Rand Industries, this show has it all.
Beat up a bunch of security guards and got kicked out of the building, so the next logicial step is to break into their home.
Lil’ Danny playing Monopoly: “You owe me $250.” Gordon Gecko: “No I don’t, rules are for pussies.” The show is working really hard to set up that he’s an asshole.
Danny Dolittle can talk to animals, we aren’t even halfway and this show has already talked to and then jumped the shark.
How does this homeless man have a tent set up in Central Park without anyone noticing. I bet nothing bad is going to happen to him.
“I didn’t mean to spook you.” “It’s alright I don’t spook”- two morons talking in the park.
This is Arrow , but without good characters. If you are a rich kid, don’t go on a plane or boat with your parents.
CGI Cirque Du Soleil fighting is so bad, even David Carradine in his drunkest state could have pulled off more believable stunts.
Now he’s mind-melding with the hawk, is this Iron Fist or Beastmaster?
Can’t walk up to an Asian person and start speaking Mandarin, that’s a good way to get punched.
We get that the plane crashed, it’s not a reveal anymore, stop wasting our time with filler.
Danny Rand logic- I want to just talk, so I’m going to steal your car, kidnap you and nearly throw us both off a parking garage. How can we relate to Danny’s struggle if he’s such an idiot?
If Danny has been stranded in the Himalayas, where did he learn to drive a car?
“This isn’t over” “I know”- dialogue written by a drunk toddler who just saw Star Wars and wanted to write for Han Solo.
It’s supposed to be the Summer, why is Chinatown decked out for the Chinese New Year?
Fighting with guns in your hands in public will elicit a response from passer by's, even if they are distracted by bubbles.
Fighting is kind of cool, but I can’t get over how dumb everything else in the scene is.
Who is this guy’s dad and why does he lock himself in a vault with “young, easily manipulated boys.” Show, you getting weird.
The tea was drugged and Joy is bad, spoilers!
And the Outkast “reveal” to end it all, which wasn’t really a reveal, just seemed out of place.
Have any questions before I queue up episode two and have an aneurysm? Ask in the comments!
