Since Steven Universe’s return for season 3, we’ve seen Steven astrally project himself into little watermelon Stevens in “Watermelon Island,” eliminate the Cluster threat with the power of love and understanding in Gem Drill,” reach the heart of a tired cynic in “Same Old World” and orchestrate the tentative beginnings of a new friendship in “Barn Mates.” In trailers, previews, and sneak peeks for new Steven Universe episode “Hit the Diamond,” we see Peridot quailing in fear from the threat introduced at the end of “Barn Mates.” How does the Crystal Gem team deal with this foreign force?
As it turns out, with a baseball game that will make “Hit the Diamond” go down in Steven Universe history as one of the show’s top episodes. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
“Hit the Diamond” starts with five Rubies pouring out of the Roaming Eye, less like a bunch of super-soldiers on a dangerous mission and more like a parade of middle schoolers inexplicably separated from their chaperone. Each Ruby has a distinct personality. They all appear to share the same single brain cell and are unbelievably adorable, with different outfits, slightly different shades of red skin, and each of their gems located in a different spot on their body.
The Crystal Gems immediately relocate to the barn to come up with a plan. As part of that plan, Garnet unfuses into Ruby and Sapphire. The last time we saw Ruby and Sapphire was in “The Answer,” Garnet’s charming and magical backstory episode, and as always they are a welcome sight.
Ruby, operating under Sapphire’s loving mandate to “act casual,” heads out towards the other Rubies and tries to convince them that there’s no need to search the barn. One Ruby appears to notice that there’s an extra Ruby, but the leader Ruby counts the others, forgets to count herself, and concludes that they’re fine. Our Ruby, sweating and terrified, can barely keep up her facade and runs into the barn for another dose of courage (and brains) from Sapphire.
Sapphire advises Ruby to tell them that this is where humans live, and Steven volunteers to go with her, but the Rubies don’t quite buy it and plan to search the barn anyway. Steven saves the day by informing the Rubies that they can’t, because… they have to play baseball first! So the Rubies check their single brain cell and agree to the game. “I saw that this was a possibility, though I am surprised that this is the path we’re taking,” Sapphire comments placidly.
Steven leads everyone, including Lapis but excepting Peridot, to face off in a baseball game against the Rubies. Both teams introduce themselves. Since the Crystal Gems are pretending to be humans, they all have splash screens with special aliases: Steven, Earl, Amy, Bob (Lapis, calling back to Steven’s “No prob, Bob”), and Sophie (who’s so pretty our Ruby starts sweating again). Then the Rubies have their own splash screens: Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby…. and Ruby! (This bit alone is one of the funniest sequences in recent Steven Universe memory.)
The hilarity is in the details: there’s “Earl’s” old-timey baseball outfit, Lapis’ lackadaisical approach to all movement, one Ruby gasping “Wow, that purple human’s really good” as Amethyst races around the diamond with inhuman speed and Amethyst flashing a peace sign as Steven pushes her off screen. But the greatest hilarity is in Ruby and Sapphire’s interactions. The two of them simply cannot contain their flirting, a running theme throughout the entire match.
“Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” Ruby teases. “I don’t know. I don’t get off-planet much,” Sapphire replies coyly, both of them laughing.
Sapphire waves at Ruby in excitement from the outfield, and Ruby gets distracted and accidentally hits the ball, which Sapphire joyfully fails to catch with an ankle-pop of triumph in the background.
Ruby and Sapphire chat with one another as other players battle it out on the diamond, until Steven drags a still-chatting Sapphire away.
A ball hits Sapphire in the head and is completely disregarded as Ruby hands her a flower and they both glow with delight.
Ruby coaches Sapphire on how to swing a baseball bat: “Lead with your hips,” she advises… with her hands on Sapphire’s hips, to Suspicious Ruby’s bafflement.
The game gets closer and closer, and finally Steven has to stage an intervention to try and refocus the pair. Sapphire does her best, but she’s distracted. “I’m trying, but all I want to look at is you,” she says to Ruby. “Don’t worry. You can look at me when you’re running for home,” Ruby replies, visibly heartening Sapphire.
The opposing Ruby sends a smoking-hot fireball Sapphire’s way, and with a girlish scream of effort Sapphire swings and hits, icing the baseball bat and sending the ball flying. It’s a home run, and Sapphire runs the bases and flings herself laughing into Ruby’s proud waiting arms. The two tumble head over heels along the grass… and fuse back into Garnet, who lies on her back with her glasses askew, still laughing.
That means the gig’s up: even the Rubies now realize that they’ve been fighting Gems the whole time. The Rubies react in a five-way split screen: one yells “They’re Gems!”, one growls “We’ve been tricked!”, one gasps faintly “What a turn of events!”, one just… growls, and the last one just turns around in bafflement, stammering “Huh? W-what?” The Rubies fuse into a giant Ruby that still, hilariously, has a tiny Ruby voice.
Peridot scampers out of the barn in a hurry, tripping over herself without her limb enhancers. But it turns out that the Rubies aren’t looking for Peridot at all. They’re trying to find Jasper and couldn't care less about Peridot betraying the mission and calling Yellow Diamond a clod and all that. (Peridot calling herself “the new leader of the Crystal Gems” to Pearl’s baffled “Whaaat?” ranks high among this episode’s funniest moments.) Peridot looks to Pearl for a cue; Pearl shakes her head, and Peridot stalls.
That’s when Steven cries out, “Neptune! She’s on the Planet Neptune!” The Rubies instantly buy this, unfuse, and pile back into the Roaming Eye to head for Neptune. In the wink of an eye the Rubies are gone.
“Man, Rubies are dumb,” Amethyst comments, to which Garnet replies fondly, “Not all of them.” End of episode.
“Hit the Diamond” is really tight and well-crafted. Not a moment passes without something cute and funny happening, and Ruby and Sapphire’s charming flirtations are placed at the episode’s forefront. While the stakes are reasonably high -- the Crystal Gems have to win the game or risk losing Peridot to the Rubies -- the episode isn’t packed with the intensity of “The Return” or “Jailbreak,” nor does it need to convey as much plot as “The Answer,” so the humor is able to unfold throughout the entire episode runtime.
Rebecca Sugar has spoken out passionately about how important it is to show children the magic and wonder of love , sharing a message of love and tolerance through her work, and seeing Ruby and Sapphire’s loving and fulfilling relationship on-screen is another step in that journey. It’s rare to see same-sex relationships depicted in loving, full flower in almost any media, and even moreso in children’s media, so the many instances of Ruby and Sapphire being adoring and adorable are both sweet in the episode’s context and critical in the wider television meta-context. Unlike in some other shows, the viewer doesn’t need to be afraid that these tiny lesbians will die.
Of course, just because the Rubies have been sent to Neptune doesn’t mean they won’t be back once they realize they’ve been had. Jasper’s fate is of deep interest to almost everyone -- to Homeworld, to the Crystal Gems, and most certainly to me. Will the Rubies find Jasper? Will Jasper find the Crystal Gems? Will Jasper be adopted and redeemed like Peridot, or is that loyal Homeworld soldier too rigid to bend in such a way? These questions are for a later episode. For now, it’s a delight just to see Ruby and Sapphire again and to enjoy the antics of this quirky cast.
The "In Too Deep" special event for Steven Universe began Thursday May 12 at 7 PM with “Watermelon Island” and “Gem Drill” back to back and ended this week with “Hit the Diamond.” Cartoon Network has also promised a "Summer of Steven" running June through August. Make sure to check back with iDigitalTimes.com to find out when Steven Universe returns to Cartoon Network.
