Not to be rude, but it’s been an awfully long hiatus since the last Stevenbomb. While no new Steven Universe episodes are listed for the first week in March, two new Steven Universe teaser clips have surfaced on the Cartoon Network UK site - and spoiler-wise, they reveal a lot more than I would have expected.
First, there’s a three-minute leak of Malachite versus Alexandrite. Considering each episode is about 12 minutes long, this is a really significant chunk of the plot. Still, if I’ve learned anything watching Steven Universe , it’s that what they’ve withheld from the teaser clip will probably be what most blows my mind.
Watch the leaked clip “Giant Fight” here on Cartoon Network UK , or watch Malachite battling the mighty fusion of Gem, Pearl and Amethyst below:
I have a million thoughts in my head, so here’s the first ones:
JASPER JASPER JASPER JASPER JASPER
Seriously, Jasper’s back. I have been waiting for this for a long time. She is my favorite. (Vegeta is also my favorite. Sorry.)
The little Stevenmelon wearing a tie was the one to wave its brave loved one off to war! I’m verklempt, and I also appreciate and acknowledge watermelon gender equality.
They finally got back to Malachite and it looks so epic. I’ve also been waiting for this for a long time .
The return of Alexandrite! We know it’s a serious challenge for the Gems to keep it together when they form the mighty Alexandrite. We can see a glimpse of that challenge in the clip above, when they almost lose the fusion.
I can’t believe the Stevenmelons are back. They’ve formed their own society. They have a wise old Stevenmelon. There are baby Stevenmelons. I’m not sure what to do with this information.
I can’t believe Alexandrite can destabilize a fusion with her arrow.
It takes Alexandrite, a fusion of three Gems, to take down Malachite, a fusion of two. Daaaaaamn.
The next clip features a wailing Peridot, a worried Steven, a new piece of Homeworld tech, and best of all: a Lapis Lazuli who has 100% forgotten how to give a fuck. Watch the leaked clip “Spaceship Smashdown” here on Cartoon Network UK, or watch it below:
My (frenzied, racing) thoughts below:
Lapis got approximately 40,000 times cooler. She should be smoking a cigarette in all these clips. (Or an e-cig. Would Lapis vape?)
Every time Peridot frantically yelps something that indicates she takes some pride in herself as an individual being, another angel gets its wings. This time it’s a reference to her own precious grin. Yes.
Steven is such an MVP. Facing an unknown and clearly hostile threat, he’s still ready to protect Peridot with all he’s got.
Lapis is with the Crystal Gems. Of course she's with the Crystal Gems. Was it ever in question that she'd go with the Crystal Gems? She certainly can't go back to Homeworld, the last thing she wants to do is join Jasper, and the only thing she appears to love anymore is Steven. (Such an MVP.)
I wonder about Lapis. Clearly she was imprisoned on Earth because her control over water is a huge threat. Her demeanor, which has always been a combination of self-possessed elegance with a deeply hidden well of humor, reminds me so much of Sapphire’s appearance in “The Answer” that I can’t imagine she’s not among the aristocracy in Blue Diamond’s Court. But was she considered a Homeworld Gem with power worth respecting and calling upon in special circumstances, as Sapphire was? After all, even Blue Diamond’s silent servant Pearl appeared as competent and refined as any other member of her court. Or was it the invasion of Earth that revealed the true extent of Lapis’ abilities? Was she manufactured for the conquest of Earth, or does she predate it? Lapis’ power is so very incredible that it really bears thinking about.
Lapis’ face the entire time. Pffft.
Did Jasper’s attitude rub off on Lapis, or was Lapis like that the whole time?
What of Lapis may have rubbed off on Jasper, who was so exultant about fusion as Malachite?
Where’s Jasper?
Hella cool Homeworld bot! Add “tracker” down to the list of cool space tech we’ve seen.
Jasper?
What stood out to you in these Steven Universe teaser clips? Feel free to feverishly spin your theories in the comments section below.
