Pokémon Go has changed the world in a way I never thought imaginable; I can use my knowledge of Pokémon to meet girls.
Everyone is playing Pokémon Go ; it doesn't matter who you are, there’s a part of you that needs to own a Gyrados. I have been a Pokémon fan since before most of these kids playing this mobile app were born, I can name all 151 -- in order -- with my eyes closed. I’m a proud OG Pokémon master, and when this app came out I thought it would be a cute addition to the Pokémon library. Instead, it’s taken over my life and forced me to walk more than I ever thought possible.
It’s also become my go-to first date. You match with someone on Tinder, start talking for a bit, and then ask them if they want to hang out and catch some Pokémon. Worst-case scenario: you never see them again but you catch a bunch of awesome Pokémon you wouldn’t have seen otherwise.
Yesterday, I matched with a girl on Tinder we will call X. We exchanged pleasantries for a couple of hours until I finally dropped the bomb: “hey, if you're not doing anything later, want to go catch some Pokémon?” She said yes, and we agreed to meet in Prospect Park, one of New York City’s many Rattata breeding grounds.
X and I walked around this park for hours, throwing Pokéballs at Venonats while getting to know each other. Well, I tried to learn about her, but she didn’t really speak a lot of English. When a date starts to take the turn for the awkward, Pokémon Go shines. When you’re at a bar, all you can do is look at your drink while in your head you frantically try to come up with topics of conversation. When you're engrossed in the app, you can talk the international language of hating Pidgeys.
After our legs turned to spaghetti, X and I parted ways. Needless to say we haven’t talked since, but that’s just the way dating in the modern age goes. I got eight Jigglypuffs and a story; it’s not what I wanted, but I think it’s what I needed.
Pokémon Go has already been downloaded more times than Tinder, and I think it’s a much better online dating app. I wish this app had been invented when I was in high school; it would have saved me so many awkward years of “trying to find myself.” Turns out, I don’t need to be cool to go out with people, all I need are Pokémon to be involved.
If you're having trouble finding the right words to say to someone you like, might I recommend some Pokémon? Just don’t say that you “can make them Squirtle,” that’s just gross.
- As Close To Living Pokémon Fantasy As It Gets
- Active And Engaging Experience
- Lots Of Mon And Events
- Battles Aren't What Fans Expect
- Very Grindy
