“Star Wars: Episode 7 The Force Awakens” comes out in 329 days (Dec. 18) and will finally reveal the fallout from the destruction of the second Death Star and the fates of beloved “Star Wars” Original Trilogy characters like Luke, Leia, and Han. But while “Star Wars: Episode 7 The Force Awakens” will be our first on-screen look at these characters since the 1983 release of “Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi,” the “Star Wars” Expanded Universe (now relegated to “Star Wars Legends” by Disney) has already plotted a rich future for the Rebel Alliance after the Battle of Endor. Most famous is the seminal “Star Wars” book series known as The Thrawn Trilogy.

The Thrawn Trilogy of novels (Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command), by Timothy Zahn, will not be the basis of “Star Wars: Episode 7 The Force Awakens,” but it remains one of the most consequential stories in the “Star Wars” Expanded Universe. So while it may not be official “Star Wars” continuity, there’s little doubt that Disney and J.J. Abrams looked closely at The Thrawn Trilogy while developing “Star Wars 7.”

With that in mind, let’s read The Thrawn Trilogy together and imagine the “Star Wars” sequels that could have been.

“Star Wars: Episode 7 The Force Awakens” That Could Have Been

The Thrawn Trilogy

Heir to the Empire

Chapter 2

In this week’s chapter of Heir to the Empire

• Obi-Wan Kenobi talks too much and too little
• Luke Skywalker drinks hot chocolate and stares at stuff
• Princess Leia has a weird womb
• Han Solo proves himself to be just as boring as Dravis accuses him of being
• New characters with dumb names are introduced

Previous "Star Wars 7" Book Club Chapters:

• Star Wars 7 Book Club: ‘The Force Awakens’ That Could Have Been, ‘The Thrawn Trilogy’ Chapter 1

Last week on “Star Wars 7” Book Club introduced us to new series villain Grand Admiral Thrawn, who Zahn pretty convincingly portrays as a combination of Grand Moff Tarkin’s military authority and Darth Vader’s physical presence.

While Chapter 1 of Heir to the Empire is about introducing us to the bad guys and new balance of power in the “Star Wars” galaxy, Chapter 2 is all about catching up with Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, and Han Solo (with a C-3PO cameo!).

Here is the real test: can The Thrawn Trilogy continue to nail the “Star Wars” tone when it’s playing with the most familiar “Star Wars” characters?

On the "Star Wars" Expanded Universe

Before answering that question, let’s briefly address the “Star Wars” Expanded Universe (EU) and its place in the imagination of the average “Star Wars” fan: me. The “Star Wars” EU has always been a lower tier of fictional “reality,” in no way as obligatory or consequential as the original “Star Wars” movie trilogy. My sporadic contact with Expanded Universe material, whether in the form of a Dark Horse “Star Wars” comic or the Dash Rendars and Kyle Katarns of the LucasArts video games, never gave me cause to think of the EU as anything other than a subordinate extension of the “Star Wars” universe.

There are many “Star Wars” fans who disagree with me:

So while there are many, many “Star Wars” lovers who hold the “Star Wars” Expanded Universe dear, I am not one of them. Combine that with the fact that licensed novels are universally terrible and you can begin to see why I’ve never read The Thrawn Trilogy and don’t give a hoot that Disney and “Star Wars: Episode 7 The Force Awakens” reduces the events in the trilogy to “Legend.”

The Thrawn Trilogy has an impressive start because Captain Pellaeon and Grand Admiral Thrawn not only feel like plausible extensions of The Empire’s villainy, but also introduce plot stakes that seem capable of achieving the narrative grandeur of the “Star Wars” movies. Throwing down with Thrawn feels like it could be weighty in a way that tangling with vaguely Asiatic space mobsters never will (“Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire” was a fun game, but Xizor sucks y’all).

I can’t say the same for Chapter 2 of The Thrawn Trilogy. Is it possible to come up with a lamer way to reintroduce us to Luke and Leia than to have them literally asleep? Does any “Star Wars” fan think that the best way to bring back Han Solo is to send him out to make trade route negotiations and get emasculated by a fellow smuggler?

The Thrawn Trilogy Fails "Star Wars" Characters

It’s not so much that Timothy Zahn doesn’t understand the characters. Luke is still obsessed with Obi-Wan and his Jedi training, convinced that no matter how powerful he becomes in The Force he’ll fall short of past Jedi. Leia remains a diplomatic whiz with a forceful demeanor. Han Solo is still cynical and slick. C-3PO is still a whiny, nosy dick.

But “Star Wars” isn’t just about getting the characters to sound right, it’s also about giving them something HUGE to strive toward. Instead we get Luke staring at Coruscant (so far The Thrawn Trilogy’s best addition to the “Star Wars” mythos) and feeling depressed after a talk with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Speaking of Obi-Wan, Kenobi comes to Luke in a dream to say his final goodbye and bring some vague warnings about “great dangers” and “new allies… where you expect them the least.” Remember when Obi-Wan’s Force Ghost pops up outside a Wampa hole on Hoth and straight-up tells Luke to fly to Dagobah?

There’s no vague mysticism and no rambling. Reaching out from the afterlife is hard, even for someone powerful in The Force, and there’s no time to waste on bullshit. Not so in Obi-Wan’s exit from the “Star Wars” narrative in The Thrawn Trilogy opening: Kenobi manages to somehow talk way too long and offer up way too little.

Sure, Obi-Wan Kenobi getting just a little too sentimental doesn’t exactly destroy “Star Wars,” but its emblematic of the many annoyances to be found in this chapter of The Thrawn Trilogy.

All the weird Force baby-sensing powers is strange enough, but when it comes to Leia's reintroduction, the addition of Winter is the worst (and the dumb fantasy name is just part of the problem). Retconned as a long-time assistant to the Princess of Alderaan, Winter is a poor extension of the "Star Wars" mythos. Winter in her pajamas “looked more regal than Leia herself on her best days” and was often mistaken for the Princess of Alderaan, rather than Leia’s assistant. Whaaaat?

Let’s just clear this up right now: Princess Leia is the coolest woman in the “Star Wars” galaxy. I don’t like Luke and Leia because they’re normal people. “Star Wars” is great because they’re great. They take down whole platoons of Stormtroopers in ridiculously lopsided firefights. In “The Empire Strikes Back” Luke learns the ways of The Force in what feels like a long weekend. Princess Leia is the best of all. Princess Leia is a fucking PRINCESS who resists Imperial torture, is an essential battlefield strategist for the Rebellion, and chokes to death one of the most powerful crime lords in the Outer Rim. Introducing her assistant as extra-super better than her is flat-out infuriating.

Which brings us to Han Solo, who, when we catch up to him in The Thrawn Trilogy, is getting talked down to by a smarmy asshole named Dravis. Just like at the beginning of “Star Wars: Episode 1 The Phantom Menace,” we’re spending valuable time on long talks about trade routes and tariffs.

Another big mistake with the reintroduction of Han Solo in The Thrawn Trilogy is allowing us a glimpse inside his head. Zahn lets us see past the bluster and the rebellious front, into Han Solo’s internal doubts and calculations. This is a terrible decision. Never has a righteous swagger been popped and deflated more thoroughly than the Han Solo persona at the beginning of The Thrawn Trilogy.

I have a number of other little problems with Chapter 2 of The Thrawn Trilogy, but they’re all small potatoes (I’ll get to food in a minute) compared to the ludicrously lame way we’re reintroduced to the most beloved “Star Wars” characters.

In some ways, I get what Zahn is going for with events on Coruscant and with Han Solo negotiating in the Mos Eisley Cantina. The big battle has been won, now it’s time for our heroes to struggle with the nitty-gritty of building up something beautiful in the wastes of The Empire they tore down. That sounds like an interesting twist on the “Star Wars” Original Trilogy events (especially if you can forget that similar bureaucratic fine-tuning is at the heart of the “Star Wars” Prequel Trilogy). It might have even worked if the characters were brought back in an interesting way. Instead we get Luke whining and insecure about his role in this new reality, literally crying at the thought of the hard work ahead. This isn’t the bold Luke I know. This is a loser.

"Star Wars" - The Thrawn Trilogy Prose Problem

Let’s talk about “Star Wars” words. Chapter 2 of The Thrawn Trilogy is beginning to show its licensed novel roots, with some pretty limp prose. There’s lots of hair getting tousled in wind, staring off into distances, and teeth gritting. Also, I struggled with how much to get annoyed at Luke drinking hot chocolate (apparently introduced to him by Lando, who should’ve shown him bourbon instead), Leia snacking on crackers and milk, and Han Solo referencing big fish in tiny ponds. I guess if I can accept snakes and lizards on Dagobah, I can accept this.

Harder to accept are the new character names. After the addition of Captain Pellaeon and Grand Admiral Thrawn to the “Star Wars” cast in The Thrawn Trilogy Chapter 1 I relaxed. Those sound like “Star Wars” names. Winter, Page, and Talon Kardde? Not so much. Sure, there’s nothing as bad as Elan Sleazebaggano (“Wanna buy some death sticks?”) here, but it ain’t great.

Was there anything to like in Chapter 2 of The Thrawn Trilogy? Some small stuff worked. The comparison of the Imperial Palace to the tree on Dagobah is cool (though I don't like the overly literal way the Dagobah events are interpreted). I hope more comes of Emperor Palpatine's Force Ghost haunting Coruscant. Hints of Thrawn's actions elsewhere in the "Star Wars" Galaxy are fun (again with a caveat though: it sucked a lot of tension out for Leia to already know about Thrawn). But that's about all that was good in Chapter 2.

There must be something else. Hmm… how about… not enough bad happened to damn the rest of the novel?

At the end of Chapter 2 of The Thrawn Trilogy Han is off to the Obroa-skai system to investigate the missing Elomin task force destroyed by Grand Admiral Thrawn in Chapter 1. Let’s hope that when the two meet Han Solo opts to negotiate with his Blaster this time.

Smashing a promising start, Chapter 2 of The Thrawn Trilogy has dampened my enthusiasm for the rest of Heir to the Empire. Still, let’s press on and hope that The Thrawn Trilogy builds some momentum worthy of “Star Wars.”

Are you reading along with me? Read The Thrawn Trilogy before? Prefer Star Trek? Let me know in the comments or at @AndWhalen.

Other "Star Wars 7" Book Club Chapters:

• Star Wars: The Force Awakens That Could Have Been, Thrawn Trilogy Chapter 1
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens That Could Have Been, Thrawn Trilogy Chapter 3
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens That Could Have Been, Thrawn Trilogy Chapter 4
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens That Could Have Been, Thrawn Trilogy Chapter 5
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens That Could Have Been, Thrawn Trilogy Chapter 6 and 7
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens That Could Have Been, Thrawn Trilogy Chapter 8 and 9