Guys! Guys. Stop speculating on Amiibos! Stop buying and holding to flip them for a profit! It’s just a bad idea in general, and you are ruining Amiibos for the rest of us. Nintendo has done a bad job of controlling against speculators—o ye villainous ones!—and many have taken advantage, to the detriment of all. But, seriously, you shouldn’t. You’re going to get screwed in the long run, and you’re just making everyone else hate you right now.

The Problem With Amiibo Speculation

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Amiibo speculators are a dime a dozen these days. I mean, just look at the Gold Mario Amiibo. It sold out in 15 minutes. How many of the people who ordered that actually wanted one? How many just spent $13 hoping for a better return later on? I’d bet most of them. They’re investing $13 to deny the Gold Mario Amiibo to someone who actually wants one, so they can sell it to their victim (word choice deliberate) for a very substantial premium (currently around 400%).

There are two major reasons you shouldn’t speculate in Amiibos:

Amiibo Speculators Are Assholes

As stated above, speculating in Amiibo, treating the figures as an investment to flip rather than a fun toy to use with your Wii U, makes you an asshole. You don’t need to invest in a fun knick-knack to get a return on your money. There’s this thing called the stock market, called bonds, called REITs, called your 401(k) and IRA and Roth IRA and literally anything else besides for taking toys away from children (well… adults too. But think of the children! *clutches pearls*). Get your investment returns elsewhere, toughies! Go join a hedge fund or something with your $13.

Taking toys away from children who want them to make money for yourself is really as close to the exact definition of being an asshole as I can manage. It’s basically being a reverse Santa Claus. Do you want to be a reverse Santa Claus? That’s what I thought. But hey, if you’re an Amiibo speculator, I doubt this argument will sway you. Because you’ve already decided you would rather make, like, sixty bucks, and be an asshole. So let’s go with argument numero two, then:

Amiibo Speculators Are Morons

Okay, assholes, here goes: You’re also morons. Sure, some of you are speculating and flipping right away. But a lot of you are camping on some of the supposedly “rare” Amiibos, like Marth, for the medium or relatively long term. This is a huge mistake. You know why? Because Nintendo can start making more Amiibos anytime they want. They did it with Marth, after all. As far as we can tell, there aren’t any differences between the first-generation Marths and the second-gen ones.

Nintendo could perfectly well do that with any of the characters. And I don’t just mean in card form. If they discover that their Amiibo policies are causing more harm than good, they will crack down on speculation—probably by simply releasing lots more Amiibos, so everyone who wants one can get one. And then you, O speculator, are left high and dry. And there’s no way to predict when or whether they’ll do it. So be wary.

Besides, there are so damn many of the things now that you’ll end up bankrupting yourself even from speculating. So just give it up already. Please.