Turns out we won’t see the much-ballyhooed Final Fantasy 7 Remake for a long time — not until 2020, according to Square Enix president and CEO Yosuke Matsuda.
In an outline of Square Enix’s financial briefings for the fiscal year that ended March 31, 2017, Matsuda said, “This slide shows our release lineup for FY2017/3 as well as for FY2018/3 and beyond. We plan to launch each of these upcoming titles in the next three years or so.” Sure enough, Final Fantasy 7 Remake ’s logo was prominently featured on that slide (along with Kingdom Hearts 3, announced in 2013).
That means the Final Fantasy 7 Remake team’s got a lot on their plate. We already know what we want and don’t want to see, but what do you think is absorbing the most of the Final Fantasy 7 Remake team’s time? Here are my thoughts:
CLOUD’S HAIR: Making a perfectly realistic model of Cloud’s hair alone. Square Enix may or may not invent an entirely new engine just for Cloud’s hair, after many experiments with hair gel in the field in order to quantify amount of gel needed, the amount of light reflecting off the gel, how many strands should be incorporated per spiky tuft, and exactly what shade of pale blonde Cloud is going to be.
SEPHIROTH’S HAIR: Lovingly counting the strands of hair on Sephiroth’s head. They’re not doing anything else with the hair because at least seven team members already have hyper-detailed Sephiroth character models in the latest engine ready to go.
AERISTHTH’S DEATH: A heated debate about whether or not to keep Aerisththth dead. By and large, the team probably agrees that they mustn’t mess with the bones of the story or they will be swallowed up in a tide of fanboy rage, but you know there’s at least one guy on there who’s really rooting for them to at least put a cheat code in to bring her back.
TIFA’S BOOBS: How big should they be? How big must they be? The Remake team may need to call in the crew from Lara Croft for intense meetings on this one.
CLOUD’S CROSSDRESSING SCENE: I’m just saying: Lightning got a collab with Louis Vuitton , Final Fantasy XIII-2 got a magazine spread with Prada, and FFXV featured a wedding dress by Vivienne Westwood, so where is Cloud’s upgrade? Cloud’s got the pout, the swagger, the icon status: give him a dress for the ages. Beat his face to the gawdz. If we’re keeping the crossdressing, let’s take it seriously and do it right.
CHOCOBOS: Final Fantasy XV’s chocobos look amazing, with customizable colors, magnificent feathers, adorable faces and the cutest little trot this side of My Little Pony. How can the Final Fantasy 7 Remake team possibly top the Final Fantasy XV chocobos? Do we get to see the little baby chocobos, like in that one FFXV miniquest? Do we get to pet them? Is there a petting minigame to maximize your chocobo’s love for you?
EPIC SUMMONS: Remember how when Final Fantasy VIII came out, every GF summon had this long and elaborate and unskippable cutscene that you just had to grit your teeth and bear? Remember how even World of Final Fantasy gave you a guilt trip for wanting to skip those epic scenes, even if you’d seen them a billion times? The real question is whether or not the Final Fantasy 7 Remake team is going to recreate the original summoning sequences or create all-new ones. Who am I kidding: the real issue at hand is that I personally can’t wait to see Knights of the Round in the Remake’s realistic style. I expect to be able to reach out and touch each individual Knight.
What do you think the Final Fantasy 7 Remake team is debating as we speak? What’s going to take them the most time to wrangle out? Feel free to discuss in our comments section below.
