When Blizzard announced Hearthstone’s The Mean Streets Of Gadgetzan expansion, I was excited to see what the Grimy Goons and Kabal gangs would bring to the card game. Now that it’s been more than a year since its release, I can’t wait to see them gone. Arguably one of the worst expansions in Blizzard’s card game to date, MSOG brought nearly all of the game’s OP strategies that have infested decks during the Year Of the Mammoth. There were Jades, the ever-growing beanstalks anyone with a brain could bring to ranked, and the rebirth of Pirates.
For those of you new to Hearthstone, there was a time when Pirates were nothing more than a gimmick archetype. Trying to make a deck with Captain Greenskin and Bloodsail Corsair that could win consistently was impossible, especially in ranked. MSOG brought two Pirates that changed the way the archetype was viewed forever. Small-Time Buccaneer and Patches. For most of 2017, this duo was in the Aggro deck of every player that wanted to win ASAP. Having a 3/2 weapon and 1/1 with Charge on turn two was nearly impossible to beat, even if you had the perfect hand. The game devolved into this clusterfuck of Spirit Claws and Shaman spam that kicked Control decks right out of the meta. After a few months of this, Blizzard finally wised up and nerfed STB and Shaman’s claws, making Hearthstone players feel a little more hopeful for the future.
Cut to six months in the future and Pirates are still an integral part of the game’s strategy. At the first two tournaments of the Kobolds And Catacombs expansion, The Australia Inn-vitational and Seatstory Cup 8, Patches dominated the deck lists. The winner of Seatstory, Xixo, brought a Midrange Hunter and Zoo Warlock that utilized the Southsea Captain/ Patches combo, which might be the most powerful in the game. Very few cards for three mana can compete with a 3/3 minion and a 2/2 with Charge. It’s the type of value Dr. Boom dreams about in his sleep. Combined with the most powerful card in the set, Corridor Creeper, you can potentially flood the board with giant minions before your enemy has stabilized.
With Patches being a huge pain in the butt this expansion, there really isn’t a lot we can do. The end of the year is fast-approaching, and February marks the next Hearthstone Standard rotation. This will take the angry Murloc pirate back to its watery grave, where only players foolish enough to enter Wild will see it. Until then, it looks like he’s here to stay and there’s nothing that can be done. If you play ladder, you’ll see him in Rogue, Warlock, Paladin, Warrior and anything that can run a deadly three-card combo.
Patches was an insult to Hearthstone’s card design, who’s ruined countless games and Tavern Brawls. He’s a low-cost pain in the ass floater that will not be mourned by the community as it waits for a new expansion. The Kobolds And Catacombs meta has bored me to tears, I’ve barely played any games in ranked. Still, I always look on the positive side of things, and I don’t know anything that’s made me happier than the single-player mode, Dungeon Run.
What I’m saying is Patches=boredom and cheese.
Dungeon Run=excitement, cheese and Boom Bots.
