SXSW is fun because you’re a parasite getting off on others’ FOMO and sugar-filled nut bars. There are no free drinks at SXSW, only sweaty adults behind chain link fences profiting off the misery of children standing in line.
Anyways, my point is, I had to buy a drink to go see Purple and the bouncer didn’t check my badge.
Purple
8 p.m. @ Lucky Lounge
If there is one gripe I have with Purple, it’s that I was drawn to the band because of the badass female vocalist drummer, but unfortunately (I mean he’s not bad), the guitar guy who probably started the band sang for most the set. Except that one song.
Faith Healer
9 p.m. @ Friends
I had this one high school science teacher who would squirt me with a spray bottle when I put my head down on my desk. He thought he was cool and he told us there’s two types of artists: the kind that sound great live, and the kind that sound better on a record.
Faith Healer is one of those bands where I’ll put three of their songs on the same mixtape, but their live set was underwhelming. It may have been because it was “Canada House,” and everybody was too polite to tell the sound guy he was too stoned, or maybe it was one of the less pressurized shows Faith Healer played during SXSW. Remember when Hesh told Adriana in The Sopranos that she "didn’t have that certain magic"? Well, Faith Healer does have it. I just didn’t hear it there.
Tacocat
10:15 p.m. @ Cheer Up Charlie's
There were a lot more tech bros than I expected at Tacocat, but that’s what happens when a national-beer-brand sponsors a millennial-punk band in Austin. Tacocat played at Cheer Up Charlie’s, conveniently leading me to my next point: Cheer Up Charlie’s old location was such a different venue. I love money, I do, but it’s gotta be handled with tact, or you’ll end up getting paved over so somebody can build a hotel on the skeletons that used to be your dreams.
To be fair, when Tacocat played FDP, it was mostly girls dancing, so I hope they’re as brand-aware as the rest of the Internet generation and keep the honesty. If only because the guy next to me was working his way through the whole thing, and I even got to ask him to repeat himself when he mumble-yelled “Yeah, fuck getting your period for the first time!”
Petite Noir
10:45 p.m. @ 800 Congress
Petite Noir played in a huge (and I hate to say it) faux-warehouse lined with suburban Texas-style stone walls and a thick, hot atmosphere that seemed three times too much given how few people were in this cavern/wedding venue. I somehow stepped into the front row. Turns out the Shiner costs the same as the Lonestar, $8.
I spent most of the show looking at bassist because he looked like Simon Pegg. Turns out they’re South African. Which begs the question: Does the band eat marmite or vegemite?
Prince Rama
12 a.m. @ Swan Dive
The capes and the face paint and the 80s tights. Guy next to me called it the best show he had seen at SXSW: “What else has made you feel this way?”
Sometime during this concert I decided to double-down on the bad decision-making, much for the same reasons that guy was impressed by Prince Rama rolling with the opportunities. She picked some guy out of the crowd and sang sitting on his shoulders, as he danced like he wanted to.
Charli XCX + SOPHIE
1 a.m. @ Hype Hotel
I only like Charli XCX because she reminds me of Marina & The Diamonds. And the entire time I kept thinking of Iggy Azalea. Speaking of which, did anybody notice that Azalea posted a Justin Bieber comeback-style dance video yesterday morning? No?
Turns out Wolfmother was playing somewhere else at the same time. SOPHIE was backing Charli XCX up, which is why I went. Hmph. I wouldn’t call it turned up, more like everybody waited in line too long to not enjoy a hard cherry cola in the dark.
(The secret to SXSW is FOMO).
